UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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