whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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