I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
