Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
