Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
