the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Randomize
