i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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