whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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