After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
