I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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