My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
