I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
