i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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