At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
NoShamevember. You game?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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