just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
