The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We got so high we made milksteak
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
