Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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