i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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