Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
