Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
