I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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