Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(336): View more from North Carolina

i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.

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(214): View more from Texas

Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?

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(347): View more from New York

you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.

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(224): View more from Illinois

Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls

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(228): View more from Mississippi

I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention

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(630): View more from Illinois

Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.

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(620): View more from Kansas

I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head

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