dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
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