it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
