Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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