I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
