Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
