What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
