What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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