Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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