WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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