im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
