Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
