Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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