I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
