Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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