Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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