shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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