you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
