I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
