You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
