you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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