McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
