I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
