In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
