i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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