in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
