She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
they're like a gay fantastic four
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
