it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
