Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
